Still can't wrap my head around the fact that we'll be welcoming a new decade in a couple of hours' time. Twelve months passed and it's very easy for me to say that this year was a rather stagnant year for me. Scrolling through Instagram and looking at everyone share the successes they had this year makes me determined to make 2020 a better year for myself.

No doubt, I risked a stable career to take on a different path for myself in hopes of upgrading the skills that I have. Kind of blew in my face, not because I failed miserably in the field, the environment I landed myself in wasn't as productive or progressive as I wished it would, despite all the empty promises they made. Leaving empty-handed, I found the light at the end of the tunnel as I successfully completed my one-year specialist diploma course.

To be frank, juggling work, night studies (and at that point of time, dating) was really tough at first as I find myself burning out ever so frequently. This happened during early 2018 - early 2019, so there were a couple of events that happened before I met R. Alhamdulillah, things worked well eventually for me as I reduced my burdens and focused on more important things in my life. Alas, after a year of hustling, I completed my specialist diploma.

With this newfound confidence, I mustered all my courage to apply for jobs that are out of my comfort zone and after much waiting,  I managed to find an environment that is willing to guide me and allow me room for progress. Another high for me this year was my love life - it's true when they say it's worth the wait. He's one funny guy and always have tricks up his sleeves. It's not always rainbows and sunshine when it comes to us, but we always tell ourselves to talk our problems through, no matter how much it could hurt the other person. It's been a year with him and I'm proud of where we are right now and wishing for bigger milestones in the next year.

Probably another good thing that happened to me was getting  my first 10K views on my youtube video! Guess all that editing and lilit was not in vain at all. You can watch my video below, I've added it here for ease, and while you're at it, do like and subscribe to see more of my videos #selfpromo #nohate


I'm pointing out the highs I've had this year but I'd have to admit there are more lows than highs. Will not discredit the lows because it helped me grow into a better person, I hope.

With the new year, I truly wish that everyone finds their happy ever after and experience more amazing memories with the people they love. Written a couple of goals for myself for the new year and I hope that at the end of 2020, I'd be able to look into the planner and cross out every single goal.

Hello lovelies.

This isn't the normal way I used to write my end-of-year posts because  I'm typing all this in 2019. Sorry for this delay as we went on an impromptu movie night with Aquaman a few hours before the new years.

With everything that happened in 2017, I went into 2018 with little to almost no expectations at all, given that I went through so many downs. In fact, I actually accomplished quite a fair bit and I didn't even realise it.

2018 was the year for myself to nurture as another upgraded version of myself, I believe. I crossed a year of donning the hijab (all praises to Allah), took up a specialist diploma in a relatively new path that I didn't think I'd fall in love with, quit my job after 2+ years and the biggest being, switching career paths. Truth be told, I was on edge and extremely anxious with all the big changes that happened last year, but thankfully all of it was worth it.

I crossed out quite a number of my new year's resolutions in 2018, which is a remarkable feat, given that I was trying to prove to myself that I can achieve so much more if I set my goals right.
One of them was to travel with my parents - we went on a short trip to Batam last August, along with Azzah and her parents. Granted, I would have wanted to go further but that was more than enough at that point of time. Another one was finally attending a concert - was blessed to attend not only one, but for two of my favourite groups, Monsta X and Seventeen. God knew how much I would have wanted to attend other concerts before but I was always thinking about the amount I would have to spend. Alhamdulillah, last year I managed to save up quite a bit so that I could splurge on concert tickets for both my sister and myself.

Looking through my instagram feed, I can't help but be proud of the events that happened over the year. From meeting my favourite Malay actor Aiman Hakim, to being casted in a Suria telemovie, to being invited for Adrianna Yariqa's anniversary party + new line launch.

Despite all that, there were instances where I had to be strong and fend for myself, when it comes to dating. I was talking to this guy I knew back in secondary school and I thought he could be a good person for me. Turns out, things went awry and I had to step away from all of that. I did learn a thing or two after those awful encounters, and I hope that nothing like this would happen in 2019.

Indeed, 2018 was an amazing year for me and I am eternally grateful for it. My mum, dad and lil sister are much happier and are in the pink of health and that is enough to make me happy. Because as long as they are happy, I am.

Whilst bidding goodbye to 2018, I'm also saying goodbye to people who treat me lesser than how I treat them, as well as people who are out to bring unnecessary trouble or drama into my life. I admit, sometimes my actions, words or attitude might not be the best at times but if you truly know me, you wouldn't be bothered by it. I am done with people who expects me to clean up their personal mess, when I have my own personal mess too. I apologise in advance to anyone who might feel that I've hurt them in any way, and for them to move on from whatever they're feeling. I too will need to remove any ill feelings I have in the past so that I can move on to be a better Haziqah.

If there's one thing I'd want to do more in 2019, it'll definitely be to progress in life without being worried about other people and their own timelines. I'm excited for the new year and to break more personal achievements for myself and for my family. I'm also excited for new beginnings (In sha Allah) and to be more happy. Also hoping that this year would finally be the year that I bring home a suitable boyfriend so that I can show off to my parents, god willing.

No matter how your 2018 went by, I hope that 2019 will be splendid for both you and I. Happy New Years and may the odds be ever in your favor.

With love, Haz