end of chapters

by - 8:35 PM

Hello lovelies.
I'm so happy to say that I've finally graduated from my dream school last Tuesday!
The whole day was surreal, and I still can't believe that I actually made it through for three whole years. Graduation day was amazing, yet bittersweet.

Rewind back to last Tuesday:
My graduation ceremony was held in the auditorium, and guests had to be seated at 8:45am. At that point, my bodyclock was starting to get used to the "post-work hibernation" period and I thought I'd be having trouble waking up the next morning. But the night before graduation, I couldn't sleep a wink because I had so many thoughts inside my head, like "Will I fall on stage?" "It's my last time meeting all of my friends before we really go our separate ways" "It's going to be so hot after grad" "Will I cry during grad" and so on.  I woke up earlier than my alarm clock and hurried up so that I could get ready earlier than usual. Both Mama and Abah were attending my graduation and they were getting ready too. I was pretty bummed that my sister couldn't attend my graduation ceremony because she had her midyears :-( We thought of taking the train to school but my dad fell sick a few days ago and was still feeling feverish, so we took a cab instead.

At this point, I was already so nervous I could pee in my skirt (kidding, but you get the level of intensity right) and all I wanted to do was meet my friends. There was a slight traffic jam, but thankfully we arrived just on time. My parents made their way to the auditorium while I hung out with my friends outside before registering.  After this everything became a blur because so many things were happening at the same time and I just couldn't focus hahhaa.



Fate is when you realise that you get to be seated with your best friends on the very last day of school. Seriously, we could have been thrown at very opposite ends of the room but what better way to celebrate the most beautiful day with none other than them....
Fun fact: on the very first day of school, we sat beside each other too, but we weren't close enough so we didn't talk lololol


Us realising that we don't have graduation hats so as top Information Technology students, we made use of technology to its fullest to bring us joy. 

Honestly, the three of us were planning on doing something on stage BUT we didn't have the balls because the emcee already warned the graduants not to do anything stupid because it was a formal event. Our initial/512571287931093921th plan was: me airkissing nini, nini winking/hairflipping and nina throwing hearts on stage. But we just abandoned the plan because no one before us did anything outrageous. 


So many other things happened but I will spare you all the details because I myself don't remember half the things that happened. And trust me, I was completely sane, I was just too overwhelmed with the love I received on grad day. 

Going up on stage, I realised that both my parents were able to see me grace the stage and accept the diploma cert. I was so thankful that both of them were able to attend it, especially my dad. My dad was a heavy smoker, and he had been smoking since he was 13-14? I remember back in primary 1, would always go to the convenience store along with my dad and sister, and he would always buy us whatever tidbits we wanted and he'd buy a pack of cigarettes too. That time, I didn't like that he was smoking but I couldn't say anything because I was scared that he might scold me. But one fateful night, he decided to stop smoking. It was difficult at first, but Alhamdulillah he managed to cut away all the cigarettes. Now, I'm pretty sure it's been more than 10 years since that. I asked him what his motivation was, and he said "I want to be able to see my daughters graduate with diplomas, or even degrees." Fast forward ten years later, I finally did it :-) 


 
(and yes, my dad was tearing up. I almost teared up too but I held back my tears) 

I wouldn't have done it without my parents, really. I screwed up my PSLE and I wanted to prove my parents that it won't be the same for my O's. I went home crying after receiving my O Level results, cried because I am able to enter any school I want and also the school of my dreams, Singapore Polytechnic. They were there to see me grow from the shy little year one kid, to whatever I became now and I'm just really glad that they were there throughout. I can go on and on but I'm sure this post wouldn't be enough to thank them. 

 
My sister played such an important role too, she was there the entire time to hear me out whenever I have problems and she's always there to annoy me whenever I have to do last minute assignments. But most importantly, she was there to motivate me with her cute drawings or cute handwritten notes and also for me to continuously do my best at school because I want her to look up to me, just like how I look up to her.  







I wouldn't have survived school without my friends. Sure, I've made a lot of friends over the past three years and not all of them stayed, but it's okay, part and parcel of life. I always look forward to going to school because of them: Nina, Nini, Kailee, Jun, Kuna and Alex. They are like the older brothers and sisters that I never had. In the group, I like to think that I'm the youngest and they'd bully me (lovingly of course). All the times we spent in school together were amazing and I'm glad that we all got along really well. 




I wouldn't have survived school without my lovely best friends: nurina, nad and sajidah. Truth be told, we weren't always there for each other during the first year but we found our way back together. They make the best listening ears because they know how I am and know how things were. It's great that all of us feel that way towards each other. I'm also thankful that Farhana and Nabilah were there throughout our three years. Them coming down to my graduation means the whole world to me. All of us have our own busy schedules and for them to set aside a few hours to celebrate it with me on my biggest day means something. 

It's been one week since graduation and I still can't help but think about the great things that happened and how my school life ended like that. For now, I suppose. I'm lying if I said I'm not scared about the real world because that's all I think about. But I'm sure that if I have the right mindset, everything will fall into place - good things, bad things, all of them. There were a lot of ups and downs throughout these three/four years, but I have nothing to worry anymore. I have my family, friends and myself. I just hope and pray that whatever I might do the next few years will be frutiful. 

Now, I'm an unemployed 19-year-old making life decisions that will determine the rest of my life. 
Oh oh. 

With love, Haz 

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