Hi there. 

I know I said that I'll be posting an entry earlier this week but I was unable to do so. I really wanted to write about something, anything, but I didn't felt like posting it at that time. Eventually, I scraped that post because I felt it was kind of an impulse writing post and I may have regretted writing it after a few hours of posting it.

I've been really happy this past week, and that hardly happens whenever I'm in school. I'm just relieved that I'm able to find that strength, or source of motivation, again. I had to do this presentation for one of my modules last Friday and I swear to god, I seriously felt like crying in school. I don't understand why in the world slackers and know-it-alls exist. Seriously. I can write down what happened that day but I figured it would be a waste of time because what can I do now anyway to change the past.

I finally had a chance to talk to my dearest Sajidah last night. It felt really good, being able to listen to her voice, sharing her my stories and listening to her stories. I don't think I emphasise how much I've missed my girlfriends. I haven't seen them since the day where we sent Nad off to Australia. I guess about two months? Everyone's been super busy with their own commitments and it's so difficult to match everyone's schedules together. I really do want to meet them, hopefully during the holidays. Oh boy, we have SO much to talk about.

School's been pretty good today, I guess. We were released at 1pm but we had this elective briefing for year three at 4pm. Since we were good kids, we stayed back in school to (supposedly) do on our assignment. Instead, we literally lepak-ed at the corner of auditorium. We sat on the carpeted floors and the room was air-conditioned, which made the environment better. Plus, it was raining heavily outside and by the second hour into our free time, we were all freezing. It was probably my first time staying back at school to lepak with my friends and it felt good (even though I couldn't feel my toes)

Let's hope that the next few days in school will be a less-stressful one, yes please. Till the next post.
p.s. I may have listened to bigbang's songs back in the days while writing this post

x

It's been a while since the last post, or should I say unnecessary rant. 

Klaroline reference because I've missed seeing them together in a scene. 

This is my first post after the new school term has started. Honestly speaking, I kinda have a love-hate relationship with the current timetable. Whatever, I'm gonna get used to it anyway. Thank goodness I'm able to cope with the new modules this time round. In other news, I've volunteered to be the class rep for this semester, probably because I needed the points and because it's an easy job. Plus, I believe some individuals can't mess with me now (I hope so) 

Currently, it's home based learning and year two and three students are supposed to stay at home and complete their assignments. We are given a week off after three weeks of school and technically, we are supposed to be happy about the extra holiday. I thought it was a good thing at first, but oh hell I'd rather go to school regularly and complete my work at school because I'm so distracted at home. Not that I'm distracted at school, but the probability of me procrastinating at home compared to at school is so darn high. Also, the school has given us a schedule for us to follow and we are only allowed access to the learning platform on certain days. Two days to complete six/seven modules? I'm just hoping that I can get all of it done and over with. I want to gO BACK TO SCHOOOOOOL.

I discovered something about poly life after being here for a while. 

Poly life sucks so bad. It's lonely as hell and it takes up so much time. Personally, I feel that even when I'm surrounded by my classmates, I still do feel alone inside and knowing that I have nothing to go back to sucks. It's different if you're someone who is an active member of your cca or have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Not like it's good to rush things like relationship or anything, but it must feel good having something else occupying your life other than school and family. It has always been the same routine; wake up, school, go home, homework, sleep and the cycle repeats. I'd really want to have more friends but it feels like it's so darn difficult to make new ones. If it's so difficult making a new friend, getting a boyfriend would be a hundred times worse. Nevertheless, I am very contented with the group of friends that I have now. It may be little, but I'm sure as time goes by, more people will come soon. If it weren't for Kai, I would have suffered so much in class alone. I guess it's vice versa for the both of us. I'd probably suffer more because I hate being alone in an unfamiliar environment. 

Sigh, school is supposed to be a fun place where learning takes place and it's a platform to form new bonds with people. I am already halfway there, I might as well cherish it before the next stage comes. Why do I feel so sad when I talk about school hahaha I wish my school life was a lil bit better. 

x