Hello my lovelies.

It's been a while, eight long months to be exact. I used to come here and somehow turn my bottled up feelings into emotionally-driven blogposts. That's my coping mechanism whenever I'm not feeling right or negative. I must admit, as I get older, I don't seem to have the time to pen down all of my thoughts and frustrations.

I've been meaning to change the way I blog now, and I think I found a way.

I want to change this blog into a place where I discuss my thoughts, opinions and experiences regarding certain topics – be it love, friends, family, work etc. Fret not, I'll still blog like how I used to, but I'm just trying out something new.

To commence the new blogging style, here's my question of the day:

"Will you ever give a second chance to your exes?"

First off, I'd like to shed some light regarding relationships. Throughout my 22 years here on earth, I've only ever had 3 real boyfriends, Daniel from childhood, Sensitive from secondary school, and Denial from polytechnic. (had to change their names to protect their identities) Out of these three, I feel like Daniel's was the best because we were matchmake by out parents. I only want this to be the first and last time my parents would ever need to matchmake me please, for the love of god.

My relationship with Sensitive stopped because obviously, I believe that we were just too young - 16 years old and we thought we had it all figured out. We have yet to sit for our O Levels, and here we were wasting time, fighting about the most pointless things. And I also guess that our personalities don't complement each other well.

As for Denial, he's the closest I can think of when I think about boyfriend, because I did treat him like one. (mama abah, if you happen to read this, please exit) We went on dates, studied together, had fun together in school, everything. I was 19 at that time, he was turning 21. I thought I scored a goal because he was older than me, very intelligent, good at his studies and charming. But he always needed me to give him attention, any time and anywhere I was. Even when I was spending time with my family or friends, he'd bug me and constantly demanded me to center all my undivided attention to him. Our personalities didn't match at all too, also why I think we had a rough falling out. We didn't even get a proper closure, not that I want it now.

For me, once I cut someone off my life, I never really want to keep tabs on them. I don't see the need to constantly check on their socials and see what they are up to, after our falling out. I also tend to shut them completely and act as if I don't know them at all. It happened a few times, I bumped into some people that I cut off, and I just looked into their eyes without any emotion.

Despite whatever happened in the past, if they used to treat me badly, I don't think they'll turn into a new leaf and suddenly decide to be nice. Based on my experiences, people like this usually want something in return from you. That's why they're being nice to you, just to get something that can benefit them.

Even if they want to contact me again for a cup of coffee or whatsoever, I'd decline. I don't ever want to share anything with them at all. Even if we had proper closure after the relationship, I'll still think that I wouldn't give them another chance. I don't see the point.

Cheaters are a definite no too. Self-explanatory.

So, to answer my question - no second chances, once they are out of my life, consider all chances gone.